How To Set & Maintain Better Boundaries

If you’re wondering how to set boundaries, you are in the right place.
People-pleasing is common. Most of us want to make our friends and loved ones happy, right? We want to please them. Even if they take us away from the things that are important to us, their happiness is more important, right?

Wrong.

Many people don’t understand boundaries. They cross them on a daily basis. But a lot of the time, they cross them unintentionally. If we don’t learn how to set boundaries, they’ll never know.

And we need to set them.

Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves. When you understand how to set and maintain healthy boundaries, you can avoid the feelings of resentment, disappointment, and anger that build up when limits have been pushed. Types of boundaries can be physical, financial, emotional and of course, sexual. Avoiding people-pleasing by setting these boundaries is of utmost importance to our own mental wellbeing. 

Here are some ways you can set & maintain better boundaries:

1. Start small – Don’t overwhelm them or make them feel like they’re a problem. Ease your way into it. Unless they’re really crossing the line, in which case, let them know.
2. Set them early – Don’t leave it too late. This will get them used to crossing your boundaries without them even realizing it, and unlearning a habit is harder than respecting the boundaries you set from the get-go.
3. Be consistent – When you set boundaries, be consistent. Don’t allow them to cross your lines some days and other days not. It needs to be all day, every day.
4. Communicate – Of course, none of the above tips can happen without proper communication. You need to communicate at all times in order to start small, set them early and remain consistent. 

People-pleasing is not a good trait. It puts everyone else’s needs above yours, and that’s not how it should be.

It might take some time and consideration to decipher the boundaries most important to you and the best ways to implement them, but your mental well-being will appreciate the effort in the long run.

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